we are a system of four alters consisting of one host (tali, the one youre probably most familiar with) and three unique parts. for clarity i drew a "system map" using the good old broken mug metaphor.

since we have partial dissociative identity disorder, we rarely have issues with amnesia/memory loss and all alters are able to access the same information. however, we have emotional amnesia between parts, that means some of us feel a certain way about things, while others do not. we are able to have full switches but are predominantly co-conscious. seperateness from the host depends on the individual alter and is written in each ones bio, as well as unique interaction info.

even if we are very close, you may not know every alter and will probably interact with only one or two. this is out of my control, but if you remain open and friendly, they may show their faces sometimes.

i prefer to keep private about my plurality, so i appreciate to not have any force-coming outs to others and let me decide who to share it with. thanks!

  you have probably heard of multiple personalities before - the proper psychological term for it is called dissociative identity disorder (as well as partial DID, thats what i got, imagine it like a less severe form of that). to put it simply, theres not just you inside your brain, but you share it with a bunch of other roommates. we call those shared apartments "systems". its quite as chaotic as it sounds, but it surely doesnt get lonely. so heres an explaination to make it less confusing :-)

dissociative disorders form when the brain notices a long-term, repeated life-threatening emergency and "splits off" the parts of it that are able to deal with it, and those that dont. these parts end up not identifying with eachother anymore so one can protect the other. imagine it like that: you are hanging on a cliff with one hand, one part of you wants to gather all your strength and pull yourself up, while the other notices your weak muscles and wants to let go. to survive you have to listen to the first and ditch the latter until youve succeeded and are safe again - a relatively easy choice. now imagine this scenario repeated every day, the latter surely becomes more tempting. thankfully the brain has a good mechanism to keep that from happening, it gets split off and banished to the unconscious. keep hanging! now life is of course more complex than hanging on a cliff, but you got the idea, dissociative disorders are based on prolonged trauma. those parts that are split off can go so far as to form their own personalities based on the job theyre made for. we call those personalities "alters", as in alternate states of identity.

to ensure these alters dont bother eachother, the brain uses forms of amnesia. these can range from full-on blackouts and memory loss (full DID) to emotional amnesia (partial DID), that means one alter feels a way about a certain situation, while the other alter feels differently and both develop on different paths. the goal of most people with dissociative disorders, including me, is to climb on that cliff to safety and gradually reduce the amnesia barriers between alters. some strive for a final integration of all alters, while others, also including me, want to achieve healthy plurality (plurality means to live with multiple personalities). ive had a long journey behind me, so im considering myself to be healthily plural :-)

interacting with systems can be new and confusing at first, so here are some basics. remember its fine to make mistakes and you can always ask, im already happy when people take the effort!

  • you can imagine my system working like linguini and remy from ratatouille. that means im always there, but some guy may sit on my head and pull my hair, forcing me to cook delicious french dishes. kidding, but that means i (tali) am always there and more or less succumb to my alters shenanigans. i use my name both for me as an alter and for the whole system.

  • despite that its important to recognize each alter as their individual person with their own personality, interests, goals and boundaries. what these are can be read on their profiles. nevertheless all of them are still parts of me as a whole and we form a unit.

  • we can communicate inside of my brain in the same way one would have an internal monologue. only that its a dialogue... sometimes trialogue... and so on.

  • i cannot control the activity of my alters. that means i cant willingly make them appear or disappear. that also means its likely that you dont know all of them. if you are open however, they are more likely to show their faces sometimes. i encourage you to get to know them :-)

  • im absolutely not an expert on all this and im figuring out stuff every day as well. being a system and sharing your brain with others can be a confusing experience!

thank you for reading!